Libido for Women 

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Your Largest Sex Organ

It all starts between our ears!

Your brain is the largest sex organ in your body and has a huge impact on your physical ability to have and enjoy physical intimacy of any kind.

Many of us are familiar with the admonition to, “Sing a church song when having sexual thoughts about someone,” to purge those thoughts away.  However, we then experience the ironic reaction of being in church and singing the same song and having sexual thoughts enter our mind because we caused our brain to make an association between the song and sexual thoughts!  Isn’t our brain great?!

The hypothalamus plays a vital role in controlling and directing our endocrine system — which controls our hormones.  The hypothalamus responds to all sorts of stimulation — thoughts, memories, the sounds of the kids arguing in the next room, the smell of stinky socks, the feel of a loving hug, and so on.  Your hypothalamus isn’t “good” or “bad” it’s just responding in the way it was designed.

Since I’m not writing an exhaustive treatise on the brain, just know that there is A LOT going on in the brain that affects our bodies physically.  When we have experienced trauma, negativity in relationships, stress, and poor health we can develop thoughts and habits that become toxic to ourselves and our relationships.  Sometimes we can recognize what is happening and stop our thought patterns ourselves.  Other times we need additional help to not only recognize what is happening but to learn the skills necessary to make the changes we want.

The good news to all this is that your brain is just waiting to release chemicals and hormones like oxytocin and dopamine to help enhance your pleasure, strengthen your relationship, and allow you to experience great moments of joy

Sexual Response
The female sexual response is often defined as responsive desire rather than spontaneous desire. What this means is that women typically don’t get aroused until they’re already into an intimate situation… we respond to the situation and our partner’s wanting us versus how a man often thinks about sex and is ready to go.

‘Sex Drive Doesn’t Exist,’ Psychologist Says; More Women Experience ‘Responsive Desire’

Typically, 70 percent of men experience spontaneous desire, while only 10 to 20 percent of women experience it as their primary desire style. Men tend to experience desire first and then arousal, while most women respond to arousal first, which then develops into desire. The responsive desire many experience, especially women, is not associated with any pain or any disorder of arousal or orgasm, according to Nagoski. Yet, pharmaceutical companies insist women with low sex drives should be medicated.

Cracking the code to female sexual desire
“Responsive desire” is when the agreement  to have sex happens after some kind of sexual initiation has begun.  It can look like this: You are reading a book, and your sexual partner makes a sexual advance such as kissing your neck. You weren’t thinking about sex in that moment. You were reading your book, but then you start thinking “Oh My” this feels good. And the books falls to the floor.Sex happens. What book?

This is contrasted with “Spontaneous desire”,  which we tend to associate more with our idea of male sexuality.  This can look more like,  you are sitting in a business meeting, at a dance club, or simply walking the dog in the park and, for no apparently obvious reason, you think, “Sex would be good right now.” You are going to sleep or waking up, your are in the shower or eating a pizza and you think “I’d like to have some sex!”

Regardless of what body or identity you have, if you’re more of a “responsive” desire person you might have worried that your interest in sex was abnormally low. You might think you have low libido! A lot of us worry about sex. Do we want it too much or too little? Worrying about how much we do or don’t want sex is something that many of us spend a great deal of time and money on. Countless books and articles are centered around how much sex is too much or too little?

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Wanting Sex Again by Laurie Watson

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski

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Julva is a non-prescription, DHEA restorative cream for the vulva

Zestra is a sensual arousing oil

Foria Awaken Hemp CBD
The first intimate massage oil for women formulated with full-spectrum hemp oil, synergistic botanical & aromatic oils. This multi-aphrodisiac formula enhances tactile sensation & pleasure while decreasing tension, discomfort and dryness.

Foreplay- Radio Sex Therapy for Couples

One Extraordinary Marriage

Reviving Your Sexual Health with Dr Lauren Noel and Susan Bratton

Useful Links
How To Get Your Mojo Back

How to Increase Libido

How to Naturally Increase Your Sex Drive in 13 Ways!

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.